June Update

For the first half of this year our lives have been operating with the goal to partner alongside the action sports ministry of Ride Nature in Fort Myers, Florida. You know this. Through this decision many aspects of our daily life have been changed, altered, eliminated, and some things just were unclear. As the days ticked by some targets were hit while other goals were pushed back until “when we know more”. As the husband and father of the family, shouldering such changes in the lives of the family becomes a bit cumbersome and heavy.

Last week Holly and I had a lengthy discussion about the target move date and pushing it back a few months. We decided to take the house off the market with the thought of re-listing in 60 days. Pushing back the sale of the home in NC would give us some additional time for essential items to be confirmed before the move.

At this point in our journey we have put all of our “eggs into the basket”. We were ready to lay down everything in NC for a new adventure in FL. As the captain, steering the family toward this new life in Florida, I am constantly monitoring emotions, logistics, securities, finances, futures, priorities, tasks and hopes. Monday of this week, I took a day to make sure I am leading us in the right direction.

As my time was spent between praying, journaling, writing scripture, and discerning, I ultimately discovered some revelations. First, while chewing on the vision for Florida, I realized that if I look with the same intent toward NC I felt convicted. Teaming up with Ride Nature our weekly life would be surrounded by action sports ministry opportunities. To put it another way, ministry around the activities we have a passion for. Here in NC, the mountains, the rivers, the snow, the lakes, and the cliffs all lend ample spaces for my family to participate in passions. Hikes, bikes, swimming, climbing, skiing, are just a few things that my family loves to be involved in. Every week there are communities participating in group rides, hikes, trips, meetups that I was not pushing my family to be apart of. So many moments to be involved but I just haven’t. Weather my “haven’t” is out of laziness, lack of vision, lack of love for people, schedule, working remote, money, insecurities, fear of failure or any other excuse, the bottom line is that I was not leading with purpose to here in North Carolina.

Secondly, while ministry through action sports is something I am bent toward, I do not believe that I was truly called to work with Ride Nature specifically. Everything about RN is 100% on the up and up and their mission is spot on, I believe my calling is to ministry around my passions, most of which are action sports related. Ride Nature needs a Global Director that is called beyond a shadow of a doubt to partner with the organization of RN.

Thirdly, Holly and I have prioritized a life with a bit of margin built in. Margin to us is flexibility of schedule, funds, and treasures. We use that margin to hang with friends or family or rest or travel or lending help or monkey around. Last month while I was in Nicaragua, Holly had the opportunity, because of our margin, to spend time with my Granny during a time of need. Living close to extended family and allowing our boys to work alongside of my father, spend time with cousins, see family for holidays has been a true gift for our time in NC. The reality of not using some of our margin for experiences with family is something that is difficult to pencil out. While all of Holly’s side of the family is in southeast Georgia and Northeast Florida, a future home in Fort Myers would unfortunately not change the 6+hr drive to see her family in Georgia from Hickory.

So what does this mean? This means the Buggs, well really me, need to apologies to everyone for stepping back on my word. I don’t like being a man whose “yes” is not “yes”. I find it very embarrassing for me and more so, in this case, my family. So, I am sorry and I hope that does not taint my credibility with any of our relationships. It also means that we will stay in Hickory. I now have a clearer passion to step into some very simple and elementary ways of being on mission right here in Hickory. I know some of you will have questions and are wondering, “How did he let his family get this far down this path to begin with?” or “Did he not understand his calling in the first place?”. To answer that question, I will be honest with you and communicate that while in other parts of my life visions have been clear, my career/professional part of my life has always been foggy. I have long envied those who have had a clear vision and path professionally. I know this brings some shame and frustration to those who are around me and I am deeply sorry for that. I do think that finally getting to the point where all the “eggs were in the basket” and we were ready to lay down everything opened up some understanding to our current reality. The reality that maybe we are not finished here in NC. To those who are scratching their heads and wondering “Well, he had years to put effort in and witness these opportunities and did nothing about it, why would he start now?” While yes, this can be an easy question to wonder, I would like to communicate that I do believe sanctification is real and that iron can sharpen iron. I pray Grace is not finished with me.

In closing, I would like to sincerely thank anyone who has been on this journey with us. If you have read our newsletters, lifted up prayers, walked alongside of us, offered words of encouragement, offered financial support, shared our story with others, assisted with preparing our home, helped look for homes in Fort Myers, offered to help move, helped with the logistics of Florida homeschooling, etc, etc, we are thankful for you in our lives. Those of you who did offer us financial gifts, don’t worry, none of the funds have been used. You will be getting another email with instructions and options for your monies.

If you would like to reach out to me, please feel 100% free to, I am an open book. Expressing feelings, mistakes, hardships, failures, struggles, and deeper things of life is not easy and long winded it seems. Hopefully my words come across as being humble, embarrassed, remorseful, as well as, fresh, confident and motivating. In no way am I skipping on holding all the responsibility of this decision for my family, even though I know they hold the burden too. I know I am a man, broken by sin, and if being vulnerable through this newsletter continues to tell the story of Jesus and his grace then I am ok with that.

Thanks again, and heres to the next adventure.

To the glory of His grace,

Ed, Holly, Zane, Nolan